Monster Monday: Ode to the Licker, Resident Evil 2, 1998

It’s a new year, so we’re relaunching Monster Mondays with a twist – over the next few weeks we’ll use a more creative take on the monsters of the week. Poems, stories (very short ones) and occasional critiques. So this time, it’s a poem – a short one, slightly tongue in cheek…

This week’s feature – the Licker from Resident Evil 2 in 1998. Aware that this is not the only time that the Licker has appeared in the series, but this was the first time we’d seen it and its initial impact was very significant when first playing this awesome game. Good times.

licker0

Ode to the Licker

I’m dead again
You leapt at Claire Redfield
Squish squish chomp
Strangled from above
Playing Resi2,
What a revelation you were
So scary to us
Oh Mr Licker
Your tongue is so
Drippy
I hear you sighing, feet clacking
How do you find your way
To jump out at me
When you have no eyes
And an exposed brain?
Here’s a hat
Let’s be friends?
Think I preferred
The zombies
Please.

Friday Fictioneer 100 words: Auntie

Who’s that scratching at the window…?

Joanna K Neilson

Well, I took the image below as inspiration, but the image I’ve added underneath quite nicely sums it up! Thanks to Rochelle for hosting these 100 word challenges, as always.

ice-on-the-window

Auntie waited by the window all winter. Her drool left frozen dark brown streaks as she scratched at thick frosted glass, her yellowed teeth gnashing. Weeks passed. Auntie watched. As I reluctantly chewed up my last shred of beef jerky, and penultimate multivitamin, birds began to squawk and chirp outside. The pane had turned from grey to deep blue. Curiously, I squinted beyond. The snow was dotted with green shoots, and Auntie had become a pile of meat-flecked bones under the window. Excited, I finally prised my way out of the cabin, to explore what was left of the world.

Thank you for reading, comments are welcome!

For more Friday Fiction by other writers, please click on the little blue frog…

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Friday Fictioneers 100 words – Keep Your Eyes Peeled

I feel that this is a proper 100 words for horror fans this time, enjoy, my Eyeballers 🙂

Joanna K Neilson

My Friday Fictioneer entry for 11th March – thanks to Rochelle for the prompt as always!

Warning: This went a little dark, I reckon – I saw that huge glossy shadow in the lower section and was totally drawn into it….

Prompt from Emily L Gant Prompt from Emily L Gant

Keep your eyes peeled, girl.

They move between dark places when the shadows shift. Between buildings. Inside homes.

My neighbour was left with a cave for a face.

They spread in shadows, their domain increasing as storms get fiercer, knocking out power, soaking firewood. They caused that too, of course. Moment they landed here the bastards were blotting out our sun.

So never blink. Be vigilant and you’ll catch a lifesaving glimpse. A spidery leg here, a scuttle at the corner of your eye. Shoot the bastards.

Keep ‘em peeled, girl. Here’s a razorblade. I can help, if you’d like?

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Friday Fictioneers 100 Words: Kaylee, Benji and KB

What horror can be wrought from a bunch of batteries? Please read on…in my entry for Friday Fictioneers.

Joanna K Neilson

Thanks for the link at Friday Fictioneers!

copyight-sean-fallon

Image: Copyright Sean Fallon

Almost alone on a semi-deserted junk world, Kaylee badly missed her beloved Benji-dog.

But she’d finally found a new friend within the scrap heap.

The dusty robot gratefully consumed all the batteries she’d scrounged. He sucked thoughtfully on each one, his red headlamp eyes growing brighter, and his spiny fingers twitched and rusty claws flexed.

“KB is ready,” KB finally announced in a scratchy, staccato voice.

“So we can play?” she said.

“Yes, Kaylee.” said KB. “What shall we play?”

Razor sharp teeth chomped the last cell.

“I have a great game,” she grinned, “Huntin’ the varmints who murdered Benji!”

*****

Find more Friday Fiction 100 word stories below!

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Monster Monday: The Hulk

In honour of Age of Ultron being really good fun – honestly, what did we do to deserve TWO pretty good Marvel Avengers movies? (Note, that’s British for – bloody amazing) we wanted to highlight this in a brief Monster Monday honorific to the Hulk, who is definitely one of Marvel’s most extreme mutated characters. It’s a classic Jekyll and Hyde horror story, after all.

As the human Bruce Banner, Hulk can be charmingly nerdy (at least the way Mark Ruffalo plays him), albeit with a very fucked up background. But seriously, don’t make him…

3412551-2374770-marvel_the_hulk

…angry. Duh.

And – Spoiler for Avengers Age of Ultron – (highlight to view clearly) the new Avengers movie really shows how terrifying an an out of control Hulk is, and it’s not pretty. Seriously, people screaming and crying, Iron Man barely able to contain him, it’s a mess and it’s kind of upsetting to see. 
– End spoiler

So the Hulk is today’s main monster because he embodies the popular fantasy of raging out in an uber-macho riot of unstoppable destruction, uncontainable even by the might of the world’s armies. All too often, this gets very ugly indeed. Bruce Banner’s constant battle to contain the big Green Guy is a truly compelling part of this character. And Hulk is incredibly popular. Whether you’re into it for the smash or the soul-searching, Hulk is as much a part of popular culture as Spidey and Batman, and gives licence to the wildest pumped up, bloated, testosteroney monster artwork.

Hulk Smash eyes glowing David Nakayama

However, not everyone finds the Hulk terrifying…and we’re all a little curious about those conveniently size purple pants. Right? No? Er…enjoy, and thanks for Eyeballing with us.

Monster Monday: Mr Swivel from Colder: The Bad Seed, by Paul Tobin & Juan Ferreyra

Comics are fast becoming our favourite way of consuming quality horror on the Haunted Eyeball. Our latest crush is the newish series ‘Colder’. The introduction to the first collected volumes run like this:

Declan Thomas is an ex-inmate of an insane asylum that was destroyed in a fire, he has the strange ability to step inside a person’s madness—and sometimes cure it. He hopes to one day cure his own, but time is running out, as a demonic predator pursues him.

However, what got our attention was this character from Colder: The Bad Seed. The terrifying Swivel is a very particular variety of monster with a chilling speciality…

It gets worse...

It gets worse…

Just looking at him is enough to make you shit kittens. But it gets worse. Swivel collects human fingers and isn’t too particular about whether you’re still attached to them. Yeah. Most issues from The Bad Seed open with him, er, ‘harvesting’ from hapless people who are innocently hailing taxis or walking dogs. Swivel might just make you careful where you waggle your most useful appendages from now on. *waves*

Swivel's mini-scythe has devastating effectiveness.

Swivel’s mini-scythe is devastatingly effective. *shits kittens*

That said, there’s a brilliant moment where he and his little mouth-fingers (still with us?) delicately remove a splinter from a little girl’s pinkie. Think it’s actually our favourite bit.

mm - Colder splinter swivel 6 panel

The guy just really, really loves himself some good quality fingers. Not your usual Eldritch being, right? The guy is a true aesthete…of fingers. Yeah. Shudder.

Colder is weird and troubling and truly insane. So naturally, we highly recommend that Eyeballers get hold of Colder volume 1 and volume 2: The Bad Seed, as soon as possible! If you love gorgeously upsetting visuals, this is for you.

Oh, and this is the cover for Colder: Volume 1. It’s awesome. It’s also terrifying. So you’ve been warned. Firstly, we present a kitten. If you scroll down further down than the kitten well,  just don’t have nightmares:

Don't scroll down don't scroll down just think about the kitten...

Don’t scroll down – don’t scroll down  – just think about the kitten…

Ready?

Issue 1 doesn't have Swivel and his fingers. But it's still freakin' weird. Also recommended.

Issue 1 doesn’t have Swivel and his fingers. But it’s still freakin’ weird. Also recommended.

Yeah. Would you like some brain bleach? Come back next time, y’all 🙂

Friday Fictioneer: When Ben Burned Down the Bandstand

Friday fictioneering, Bandstand Burn!

Joanna K Neilson

A strangely psychotic piece this week – think it was partly prompted and crystalised by everyone’s shock, including my own, at the hideous air crash where the pilot apparently very calmly flew himself and 150 other people into a mountain – for no good reason (all will probably be revealed, I suppose). Still, fucking unbearable to think about. Shudder.

This act of senseless brutality freaked me out and filtered its way into my story, though it’s also still inspired by the band picture. Apologies to the band people btw 😉 At least this guy has a clear motive for his dreadful actions, however dreadfully weak.

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Friday Fictioneer By Dave Stewart

Bandstand Burn

When Ben burned down the bandstand, he didn’t seem the chap. He’d always been a nice guy,  we’d never heard him snap. But his one true love was music, and he had longed to play. But talent at it…

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