Monster Monday: The Hulk

In honour of Age of Ultron being really good fun – honestly, what did we do to deserve TWO pretty good Marvel Avengers movies? (Note, that’s British for – bloody amazing) we wanted to highlight this in a brief Monster Monday honorific to the Hulk, who is definitely one of Marvel’s most extreme mutated characters. It’s a classic Jekyll and Hyde horror story, after all.

As the human Bruce Banner, Hulk can be charmingly nerdy (at least the way Mark Ruffalo plays him), albeit with a very fucked up background. But seriously, don’t make him…

3412551-2374770-marvel_the_hulk

…angry. Duh.

And – Spoiler for Avengers Age of Ultron – (highlight to view clearly) the new Avengers movie really shows how terrifying an an out of control Hulk is, and it’s not pretty. Seriously, people screaming and crying, Iron Man barely able to contain him, it’s a mess and it’s kind of upsetting to see. 
– End spoiler

So the Hulk is today’s main monster because he embodies the popular fantasy of raging out in an uber-macho riot of unstoppable destruction, uncontainable even by the might of the world’s armies. All too often, this gets very ugly indeed. Bruce Banner’s constant battle to contain the big Green Guy is a truly compelling part of this character. And Hulk is incredibly popular. Whether you’re into it for the smash or the soul-searching, Hulk is as much a part of popular culture as Spidey and Batman, and gives licence to the wildest pumped up, bloated, testosteroney monster artwork.

Hulk Smash eyes glowing David Nakayama

However, not everyone finds the Hulk terrifying…and we’re all a little curious about those conveniently size purple pants. Right? No? Er…enjoy, and thanks for Eyeballing with us.

Monster Monday: Mr Swivel from Colder: The Bad Seed, by Paul Tobin & Juan Ferreyra

Comics are fast becoming our favourite way of consuming quality horror on the Haunted Eyeball. Our latest crush is the newish series ‘Colder’. The introduction to the first collected volumes run like this:

Declan Thomas is an ex-inmate of an insane asylum that was destroyed in a fire, he has the strange ability to step inside a person’s madness—and sometimes cure it. He hopes to one day cure his own, but time is running out, as a demonic predator pursues him.

However, what got our attention was this character from Colder: The Bad Seed. The terrifying Swivel is a very particular variety of monster with a chilling speciality…

It gets worse...

It gets worse…

Just looking at him is enough to make you shit kittens. But it gets worse. Swivel collects human fingers and isn’t too particular about whether you’re still attached to them. Yeah. Most issues from The Bad Seed open with him, er, ‘harvesting’ from hapless people who are innocently hailing taxis or walking dogs. Swivel might just make you careful where you waggle your most useful appendages from now on. *waves*

Swivel's mini-scythe has devastating effectiveness.

Swivel’s mini-scythe is devastatingly effective. *shits kittens*

That said, there’s a brilliant moment where he and his little mouth-fingers (still with us?) delicately remove a splinter from a little girl’s pinkie. Think it’s actually our favourite bit.

mm - Colder splinter swivel 6 panel

The guy just really, really loves himself some good quality fingers. Not your usual Eldritch being, right? The guy is a true aesthete…of fingers. Yeah. Shudder.

Colder is weird and troubling and truly insane. So naturally, we highly recommend that Eyeballers get hold of Colder volume 1 and volume 2: The Bad Seed, as soon as possible! If you love gorgeously upsetting visuals, this is for you.

Oh, and this is the cover for Colder: Volume 1. It’s awesome. It’s also terrifying. So you’ve been warned. Firstly, we present a kitten. If you scroll down further down than the kitten well,  just don’t have nightmares:

Don't scroll down don't scroll down just think about the kitten...

Don’t scroll down – don’t scroll down  – just think about the kitten…

Ready?

Issue 1 doesn't have Swivel and his fingers. But it's still freakin' weird. Also recommended.

Issue 1 doesn’t have Swivel and his fingers. But it’s still freakin’ weird. Also recommended.

Yeah. Would you like some brain bleach? Come back next time, y’all 🙂

Monster Monday: The Infected in ‘The Last of Us’ (PS3 game)

We’ve seen our fair share of zombie flicks here at the Eyeball. In fact, we were pretty sure no mere zombie could ever terrify us again.

Naughty Dog (creators of the Nathan Drake adventure games) have proved us wrong.

infected

Half man, half homicidal mushroom

Continue reading

Monster Mondays: Doctor Who’s Whisper Men

At the Eyeball we have a soft spot for Doctor Who, even though the increasingly convoluted plots and two Doctors on a perpetual sugar rush have led to more of a ‘dipping in’ strategy when it came to actually watching it.

However, once we heard that a certain horror icon was guest starring, we tuned in this time. We won’t spoil who that was here, as the whole internet can tell you what happened – or watch it on the BBC iPlayer if you can. The episode was stronger than earlier ones with a leisurely start that perfectly laid out what was at stake, with an impressive group of female heroes setting the scene.

But what we’ve come to comment on were the gloriously nasty new monsters known as the Whisper Men.

One of the Whisper Men

The Whisper Men are sinister henchmen for an ongoing Big Bad, played with sneery superiority by Richard E Grant. Incidentally, wasn’t Grant a former Doctor in a parody or web cartoon version? He keeps the Whisper Men around and has a nifty trick of morphing his consciousness into them if one of him gets destroyed. There’s a reveal of this that’s rather like The Invisible Man, revealing only hollow air inside his face before taking over another Whisper Man. Shudder.

Whisper Men corner the Doctor

Whisper Men corner the Doctor

So what else is impressive about them? If they stick around we hope they’ll do more, but they did manage a fair amount of menace in this one appearance:

  • Cadaverous, sharklike grins.
  • Those broad top hats, undertaker chic taken to extremes.
  • Faceless monsters. Can they see you, or are they just gonna sniff you out?
  • Their whispering nature. They seem to stalk you with words as well as appearances.
  • They can also reach into your chest and stop your heart on a whim. Yuk.
  • They can corner the Doctor!
  • The way they morph into Richard E Grant and look vaguely annoyed by the process.
  • The pale faced, towering humanoid is a foolproof horror classic, going right back to Cabinet of Doctor Caligari.

whispermen

The Haunted Eyeball figures that this makes a change from referencing Daleks and Cybermen when it comes to Doctor Who. Also, we’re quite looking forward to when the show returns at the end of November 2013. Please, writers of Who, cut down on the sugar for once, and it might even be watchable, just like this one.