Monster Monday: Mr Swivel from Colder: The Bad Seed, by Paul Tobin & Juan Ferreyra

Comics are fast becoming our favourite way of consuming quality horror on the Haunted Eyeball. Our latest crush is the newish series ‘Colder’. The introduction to the first collected volumes run like this:

Declan Thomas is an ex-inmate of an insane asylum that was destroyed in a fire, he has the strange ability to step inside a person’s madness—and sometimes cure it. He hopes to one day cure his own, but time is running out, as a demonic predator pursues him.

However, what got our attention was this character from Colder: The Bad Seed. The terrifying Swivel is a very particular variety of monster with a chilling speciality…

It gets worse...

It gets worse…

Just looking at him is enough to make you shit kittens. But it gets worse. Swivel collects human fingers and isn’t too particular about whether you’re still attached to them. Yeah. Most issues from The Bad Seed open with him, er, ‘harvesting’ from hapless people who are innocently hailing taxis or walking dogs. Swivel might just make you careful where you waggle your most useful appendages from now on. *waves*

Swivel's mini-scythe has devastating effectiveness.

Swivel’s mini-scythe is devastatingly effective. *shits kittens*

That said, there’s a brilliant moment where he and his little mouth-fingers (still with us?) delicately remove a splinter from a little girl’s pinkie. Think it’s actually our favourite bit.

mm - Colder splinter swivel 6 panel

The guy just really, really loves himself some good quality fingers. Not your usual Eldritch being, right? The guy is a true aesthete…of fingers. Yeah. Shudder.

Colder is weird and troubling and truly insane. So naturally, we highly recommend that Eyeballers get hold of Colder volume 1 and volume 2: The Bad Seed, as soon as possible! If you love gorgeously upsetting visuals, this is for you.

Oh, and this is the cover for Colder: Volume 1. It’s awesome. It’s also terrifying. So you’ve been warned. Firstly, we present a kitten. If you scroll down further down than the kitten well,  just don’t have nightmares:

Don't scroll down don't scroll down just think about the kitten...

Don’t scroll down – don’t scroll down  – just think about the kitten…

Ready?

Issue 1 doesn't have Swivel and his fingers. But it's still freakin' weird. Also recommended.

Issue 1 doesn’t have Swivel and his fingers. But it’s still freakin’ weird. Also recommended.

Yeah. Would you like some brain bleach? Come back next time, y’all 🙂

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Monster Monday: Patrick Bateman ‘American Psycho’ created by Brett Easton Ellis

**Contains American Psycho spoilers because…well, go read and watch it, it’s awesome, and horrible, and hilarious, and deeply upsetting. Welcome to the Haunted Eyeball.****

We’re moving away from Disney this week (though we’ll definitely be returning to the demonic house of mouse at some point) and we’re taking a humanoid approach to this week’s Monster Monday. Well, he can pass for human, anyway. Mostly. What Patrick Bateman actually is, is something far more terrifying.

Doesn't seem so bad, does he...

Doesn’t seem so bad, does he…

He’s a yuppie. Which, to clarify for those born after 1980, means he’s a stupidly rich, callous motherfucker. Actually, probably easier to just call him a banker and leave it at that. Striding the streets of late 190s New York in Armani, while utilizing a very strict skincare routine, Bateman kills and kills again, he stomps tramp to death along with their poor puppies, he gives drugged out dates chocolate covered urinal cakes as a dessert. He also has extremely convoluted thoughts on the music of Whitney Huston when she was an 1980s diva. That’s the sort of monster we’re dealing with. Shudder. However, if  you’re interested, there’s a very interesting study into how rich people get progressively less empathic – though we doubt that that would really explain Bateman, either.

Oh, and he NEVER gets caught.

Now, to be clear, this really isn’t going to be an incredibly in-depth analysis of everyone’s favourite American Psycho (no, not you Dexter). There’s a time and place for that (we love us some analysis) but, not on here and not today, anyway. This Monster Monday about Patrick Bateman is purely to celebrate how he makes us confront our inner sickos. Or if he doesn’t well, good for you.

So let’s talk Bateman.

american_psycho

Frankly, compared to what else is out there, Patrick Bateman is almost comical. Not least because, well, he might just be completely out of his mind, and the whole horrific story is  delivered by an unreliable narrator cop-out of the highest order. (The author has denied it’s all in Bateman’s head, though). That and the ten page monologues on what Bateman likes to wear and why Hip to Be Square like, totally sums up important stuff, probably. Yes. He takes himself so seriously, it should be a comedy. (We’d argue it is…a very very very very dark one). See, mostly, Patrick Bateman just likes to hurt people. Women especially. Yick. The jarring flip from Bateman’s discussion of the latest GQ cover and angst about the right business card, right over to incredibly detailed descriptions of torture, murder and things that would make Leatherface shake his head, are all part of the character’s hypnotic appeal. This is one twisted fuck, and he lives on Wall Street.

That’s up against some pretty stiff psychotic competition.

Let’s be clear. The ‘all a dream’ explanation for Bateman would suck. Unless you’re that unfortunate woman he treated to his hose pipe and rat douche which, well…but it would remove the power of the book. It’s basically pure splatterpunk translated through the uppity lens of high literature. What’s the difference between this and a masterpiece like Ketchum’s ‘The Woman’? Apart from, like, awards and publishing ‘accolades’. Still, they’re both brilliant, but you know, labels are bad, mmkay?

This is how a date with Patrick Bateman generally ends, by the way...

This is how a date with Patrick Bateman generally ends, by the way…

However, Bateman definitely falls under ‘M’ for ‘Monster’. But even worse, surely, (unless you are the unfortunate hooker being brutally chainsawed through the crotch by him at the time) are the people who are stopping him from even being caught. His disgustingly rich father has to be protecting him. That’s hinted at. Suggested. Never overt. Conspiracies are comforting. Otherwise, the world would see what a sicko Bateman is, and they would stop him. The world would definitely stop him. Right? Bad guys are caught all the time. Aren’t they? It’s a good thing we’re all rational enough to deal with this and have enough security in the world’s empathy that this sort of thing is laughed off as an anomaly of a sick mind…..*nervous laugh*

Brett Easton Ellis' sick little mind, to be precise. *gives Brett an unwanted hug*

Brett Easton Ellis’ sick little mind, to be precise. *gives Brett an unwanted hug*

Only, we all go a little mad sometimes. Bateman is one way to pin it to the screen or the page. Or the musical theatre outing. Nice. Because, when the highest rated, most heavily downloaded show (Game of Thrones) has a man getting SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER his cock brutally chopped off by another guy who looks like a psychotic hobbit (no, really he does, and he also deserves his own Monster Monday when the series actually finishes) plus, all the graphic rape in the show and head’s gleefully exploding END SPOILER END SPOILER END SPOILER then, we can’t get on our high horse about about Bateman anymore. We are desensitised. We deserve Bateman now. He’s been absorbed and chewed up.

This is best epitomised by the newish West End musical of American Psycho, starring Doctor Who as Bateman (a far more appropriate use for creepy babyfaced gurner Matt Smith, in our opinion). Surely, if popular culture is going to grind up and spit out something as blackly vicious as Ameican Psycho, and shove a load of ironic songs in it (I’m also looking at you, Evil Dead) then it’s only a matter of time before we get a Hellraiser musical. Well, we can hope.

750ish words: ‘Animal’s Theory about the guy next door’

750 words written in 20 minutes.

Joanna K Neilson

Consistent writing does take the fear out of the process, the crippling perfectionism that can kill a first draft, let alone the minowwing idea that promises to grow into tasty words and yummy stories. So before I kill that metaphor entirely…here’s a quick story, minnow sized actually, written in 20 minutes on one of the most inspirational writing sites out there – 750words.com.  The site tracks you keeping up writing at least 750 words a day, and it’s a good way to break through any starting nerves, any hesitation can be fought through and replaced with sweetly random connections coming together. Or, you know, a rant about how mad, irrational and crappy you’re feeling at that particular moment. Lately I’ve been doing the fiction more than the internal angst, though that’s still there. Weirdly, it’s easier to fill the 750 words remit by writing a story, than by rolling around…

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Review: Bad Blood by Nicky Peacock

Love kickass vampires that don’t sparkle? Love hideously infected zombie humans? Love apocalypses set in London? Continue reading

Monster Mondays: Don’t be Afraid of the Dark (2011)

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2011 film)

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (2011 film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Special post – Takers 3 out on Monday!

TAKERS3 - cover page

Brand New Cover Art for Takers 3 by Haunted Eyeball regular, Author Chris Davis

We’ll have more info soon, but very excited to report that Part 3 of the award winning Takers will be out to buy on Monday 20th June 2013. The Eyeball has just received this lovely preview image of the cover from Plotfish Press and we can’t wait to get our yellowed little Eyeball teeth into it. (Yes, Eyeballs have teeth…this one does anyway).

The Haunted Eyeball has covered this vampire franchise before and interviewed its Author Chris Davis here, here and here!

Takers part 1 will be free on amazon UK and amazon.com on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday (June 17th-19th 2013). Continue reading

Interview: Horror & YA Author Brian Rowe

Author Brian Rowe

Author Brian Rowe

Brian Rowe is a writing fiend, book devotee, film fanatic, and constant dreamer. He’s written nine novels, dozens of short stories, five feature-length screenplays, and hundreds of film articles and essays. He is one half of the blog Story Carnivores, where he reviews the latest in books and film. He is currently pursuing his MA in English at the University of Nevada, Reno, and is hard at work on his next novel. You can also visit his Website or find him on Twitter @mrbrianrowe.

Haunted Eyeball: Welcome to the Haunted Eyeball, Brian! We’re very happy to have you here today and we really enjoyed reading your horror novel Townhouse.

Brian Rowe: Thank you for having me today!

INSPIRATIONS

HE: Let’s get started right at the beginning, Brian. Tell us, which authors did you enjoy while you were growing up?

BR: My favourite author growing up was Stephen King, who I’ve looked up to for probably twenty years now (and I’m only twenty-eight!). I also loved Roald Dahl, Dean Koontz, and, of course, J. K. Rowling. My favourite novel I’ve ever read is Boy’s Life, which I read as a sophomore in high school.

HE: Who are your favourite authors now?

BR: Stephen King remains my favourite author, but lately I’ve been focusing on young adult fiction and have turned to many of these authors for inspiration. I particularly love John Green, David Levithan, Stephen Chbosky, John Corey Whaley, and Emily Danforth.

HE: Which films, TV and music influenced you in your writing and daily life?

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